Mamas, YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Yes, you read that right! So many times as moms we feel we are on this journey by ourselves, and no one understands “OUR” situation.
I remember when I had my first daughter. We were living in Kingsbay, GA. No family nor friends in the area. We were excited and nervous, but I didn’t dare tell anyone how nervous I was to bring a child into this world. People that knew me from my hometown were shocked that this gal was even pregnant. Hmmm….I didn’t like kids. Yeah, I NEVER volunteered to babysit, and if you had kids, we were not hanging out. This has changed since I have three of my own. Well, kinda, sorta. It’s simple; we can do lunch with our kids, but if we are hanging out after 6 p.m. I want to be an adult and be free.
So, here we were, a young married couple living the American Dream. We had your typical 3 bedroom/2 bath home built with a privacy fence for our two dogs (Buster and Pierre). My hubby was aboard a submarine out of Kingsbay and life was good. That was until the doctor confirmed that we were indeed pregnant. I didn’t know anything about a baby and what about our trip to Miami? Yes, those were my exact thoughts. Anywho, yeap, I ran out to purchase the famous What To Expect When Expecting and read it from cover to cover (numerous times).
The day came that our precious baby entered the world. The Softball Chef was a cute little chubby thing. Along my pregnancy journey, I made an amazing friend that was also pregnant (there’s a story about this friendship being made). Our husbands were attached to the same boat, so we spent a lot of time together during deployments. We hung out, talked, had lunch, dinner, late night snacks and everything in between. Why? Cause we needed one another for support. Neither one us of knew a thing about raising kids.
We became one another’s support system, but I still felt like a mommy failure. Why did my baby have a major diaper blowout each time we stepped out of the house? Why did she cry for what seemed like hours? Why did she always want to nurse when I wanted to eat my hot food? Why was she rolling everywhere vs. crawling? The list went on.
Fast forward to school age and three kids in total. I don’t feel like I’m a failure any longer (well, not every day. There’s still those days I’m trying to figure out a thought process of a child, SMH), but there WERE days I felt ALONE! Alone in this world of being a MAMA. No one ever talked about wanting to hide from their kids. No one openly said it was ok to want to go out with friends without the kids and talk about adult things. No one said their kid got on their nerves. Nope, cause if you said it, you were A BAD MOM! No one said your kids may not always obey you the first time. No one told me you could teach them to be respectful, but they will still be disrespectful at some point. Everyone just tells you to raise the “perfect” child. Everyone just tells you to put your kids first, but what about yourself? No one tells you that your baby may learn a bit different from the neighbor and it’s ok. Everyone just tells you the fluff of being a mom. Nope, not this gal. I will tell you that my kids drive me insane, but I will also say I love them. I will tell you that I hide in the bathroom or sit in the car for thirty minutes after arriving home. And I’m NOT ashamed.
No one tells you their story and gives you the opportunity to openly discuss and ask questions. Why do I say this? Because I’ve been there, done that. Yeah, I’ve been the lady that other’s chuckled and told me I was wrong for not wanting to be around my kids for the day. Don’t let someone tell you or make you feel alone in raising your kid(s). If you need a break, just say it! If you need advice on getting your child to do chores, ask it. MomJonz will always put in her 2 cents. It may stink sometimes, but I will always tell my story and our approach to raising kids if asked. Parenthood isn’t a one size fit all, but you can for certain learn from others experiences and tweak it to fit your home.
So, in closing. Please remember, YOU ARE NOT ALONE in this thing called mommyhood. Find a mommy friend you can relate to and ROCK this being called MOMMY!